How many times in life have you asked the Universe, or Creator, or God, for a sign? I know that I sure as heck have asked for my fair share of signs throughout my life. Some when I didn’t really need them but would really like them and other times when I desperately needed them and frankly was unconcerned with how that sign came I just wanted it, like right then.
When I was with my super-duper lame narcissist of an abusive ex-husband I asked for so many signs. Don’t get me wrong here I wasn’t looking for signs that he was abusive, I knew the relationship was toxic. That was blatantly apparent, but as everyone who has ever been in an abusive relationship knows, just because you know it is a bad relationship doesn’t mean you know that you should leave. You don’t even want to leave a lot of the time because you are deeply trapped in the web of a guilt trap they have laid for you.
So, I asked for a sign. When should I leave? Should I leave at all? Should I stick it out? And then after I left I asked for more signs. Was that the right choice? What should I do now? Then what do I after that?
But, what most people don’t realize is that every time that you have asked for a sign it has been sent to you. And every time that I asked for a sign it was sent to me too. Of course, for the most part, I missed them. Then I learned an incredibly valuable tool that actually started my whole healing journey.
I like to think of my healing process in two parts, the reclaiming and then the mending. The reclaiming happened naturally, it was the time where I was single. Where I was healing by the pure act of being free. Of living again and rediscovering who I was. But the mending that was something else entirely. The mending didn’t occur until I found myself in a whole new relationship.
My new relationship was, and is, AMAZING. Which of course brought back all the trauma I had gone through accompanied with a fat side of guilt and an even fatter side of fear. I say of course because, just like with any trauma, though it can present itself in sneaky ways in your day to day life and how you interface with the world, once you are in a situation that simulates the one that traumatized you in the first place everything comes back to you. It is important to note, when I say everything comes back to you, I don’t necessarily mean memories, what I am referring to is feelings.
Because of all the trauma feelings that rushed me once I was in a healthy love, I began to toxify it right up. My fear and guilt and past poisoned darn near everything. And it was brutal. Here I was with someone who genuinely loved me, something that I so desperately wanted, and I couldn’t stop myself from messing it up.
In a moment of desperation I hired a coach. And I asked for a sign, again. Was I making the right choice? Maybe I was just bad at love. But this time was different, I didn’t ask for just a sign, I asked for a specific sign. I asked that if I was making the right choice to be sent rainbows. I have always loved rainbows but even right after I asked I felt silly. I don’t exactly live in a place where it rains, how was I going to see rainbows?
Then my daughter came home from school all excited to show me the picture she drew. It was a page covered in about thirty rainbows.
It is because of this validation that I started on the mending portion of my healing journey. Human nature likes validation. It is in our instincts to want the rest of the herd to approve of our behavior, you know, so we don’t die. But that can also keep us stuck. However, getting universal validation has completely changed the way I view the world and has also helped me to no longer feel like I have value based on other people’s opinions of my actions.
This was the first step on my healing journey. My real healing journey. The journey that saved my relationship and freed me from the guilt and fear. And then that steered me on the path to helping other’s do the same as a coach.
I have shared this tool with my clients and it is amazing to see the signs that they get. Give it a shot! It’s a simple process, just say either out loud or in your head, “Universe (or Creator or God) please send me _______ when I am on the right path.” The blank can be anything that you want, anything that means something to you. I have seen people use everything from butterflies to the number 33. Just something that is yours.
It works the same with everything. You discovering a new metaphysical gift but doubting yourself? Ask for the validation. You afraid to take the jump into learning how to read tarot? Ask for the validation. Thinking of making a big career move? Ask for the validation.
That’s it. Then you let them come to you. However, you also must also take action. Don’t stay trapped in your fear and insecurity. Move forward. Find a system that will work for you. Start your journey.